When I Stumble

After I stumble, its like, I see everything I have done for the way it is. I look back and I see what I could have done better. Its humiliating, I stumble so much, and I feel helpless to prevent it. Its not within my power to stop. For I am nothing more than a human. I don't like to wear the title Christian, I bring shame to Jesus' name, when I want to bring him glory, he deserves nothing less than my all, yet most of the time, if not all of it, I'm holding back from him.

I want to give God my all but I keep falling into the deadly snare of sin. I'm so helpless! Its like I want to scream and rip all of my hair out. When it is over and done though, God is right there with me, he didn't leave me at all, he never gave up on me and he is always there. I just don't get it, his love is infinite. There is so much that I don't know, I want to keep learning. Every time I fall, I am reminded of how holy God is, but recently, I've noticed that he is a loving, and ever patient God. If you believe otherwise, it is a lie from the enemy!

I'm sick of gratifying the wicked desires of the flesh, which bring only death. But the fruit of the spirit is, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. The fruit of the spirit brings eternal life! I'm stuck with the flesh, the twisted demented flesh. I'm sick on the inside when I think of it.

In my heart, I know that God is going to be with me, as I walk through this. I know he will enable me to do his perfect and holy will. And I know that he will used me as I am, flawed, and imperfect in every way. He will love me and be by my side always & forever. The God I love and worship is perfect, loving and Holy. All Glory be to God!