Well I have not posted in a long time, and now that it is 3 am in the morning on march the third, and it is friggin hot outside, and i cant sleep, i decided to make a post. First thing, I want to be alot closer to God than I am now. SEcond thing, i want my sense of self worth to have nothing to do with what girls think of me, but be dependant on that of god alone...third thing, I want God to write my love story and have control of that. I suck at it...
Finally, college is hard, 1 it is hard to get motivated, 2 things sneak up and kill you, 3 nobody cares whether you pass or fail, it all depends on you, and that is the most weird thing about it....nobody cares at all... I never thought i would say this, but i really miss highschool...oh and that summer before ftc, when jenna, me lee and... well me again went to six flags, i think chris came, not sure if he did or not i cant remember but htat was fun, or the time me will nelson, and drake lucas went to six flags...that was pretty friggin cool i dont think i will ever forget that...
I always write when nostalgia creeps in on me. I've been thinking alot, i want to go back to a youth camp or something...and omgsh...brooke...I wish she would at least talk to me. I cant be that bad of a person to not even talk eh? I would say "if she had any idea how much i cared for her, she would completely change" but...as my grandmother and a few other poeple have told me this before, ...all it did was creap me the ...heck out...so no... I think i need to show her how much i dont care....yeah.. or at least make her think i dont i dont know how her mind works...but i tell you the truth it is not normal at all...I like that...but still it would be nice if she could at least talk to me.
It seems every time i write it is something nostalgic..sure i miss the past alot, and I have trouble getting over the loss of good friends...I am the kinda guy who keeps a select few close to me and i dont like changing them out...sure i love meeting new people but i have a hard time letting them close to me. I should probably just say that I am frustrated with the stresses of college...perhaps instead of looking backwards into better times, i should look forwards into better times.
