horrible

I believe In God, and I believe that Jesus christ has paid for my sins. It hurts to acknowlege it, but, I keep falling short. I want so much to be like Jesus, but I just keep falling into the same temptation over and over again. It is destroying me and I cant stand it at all. I really hate myself for it at times.

Some times I know I have the power to resist, but I dont. Is my character flawed. I've been struggling to overcome this for over 2 years. I have almost given up hope. But I know that God is testing me through this. I guess its a good thing, but I really just want it out of my life for good.

I feel inadequate as a christian most of the time. I can't do anything right. I'm lazy and no good. I'm a pathetic excuse for a man in general. In terms of self confidence, I am all over the richter scale. Some times I feel that I can do anything, I have faith, I am walking in obedience, and I am constantly learning. Most of the time that isn't the case, there is this constant divider between Me, and God.

I believe that God is going to move in me during FTC. I feel that this is where God has called me to be, and I know that I need to be there. I so much want a change in my character.

I also know that God is loving, and forgives me even when I don't forgive myself. All that I have to do is Confess and repent. well anyways. God is amazing, and I know that if I continually seek him, I will become more like him and in his image.

Now if I can get a consistant devotional time.