Snowed In

I'm getting a little stir crazy. My Brain is complete mush, my eyes are dry from crying over my friend who passed away some months ago.

Its tough, I don't think it was very real to me when it happened. It is as if I were waiting on him to get back from a really long mission trip or something. When he passed away, it did not bother me the way it did some people. I just knew I would see him in the next life. However, what I don't think I realized is how freakin long this life is.

Chris was, and is still, my best friend. I know a lot of people say that, and he had a lot of friends. But I really felt like I knew him for a very long time, and it was an honour to be friends with such a man as him. I don't know if he thinks of me as the same, I just often feel that I am passed over, or that people don't recognize me as being a close friend of his. I kinda feel like I was excluded on alot.

Ah well, besides the point, it certainly doesn't matter now, and the flesh has its on weird fleshy ways of wanting to be reognized. How selfish to even be thinking that way.

My mind is mush, I've been stuck inside from the snow since Sunday night (and its now Thursday 1 am. There is no structure to my life, only chaos. Without structure, all else falls apart.