I'm back home again. I guess you could call it a tradition to post something to my blog when I am home for a few days. So much is going on in my life, and its so crazy having time to sit down and think.
Being bed ridden for a few days really has given me plenty of time to sort of mull things over. I began to think about how short our lives are, and how weak and fragile our existence is. Thinking about it called back a few memories, mostly from the time being here at this new house. Being here is intoxicating, memories of the past are everywhere. Who I was conflicts with who I am, yet both share respect for one another.
Memories, they have a funny way, of leaving out the bad feelings. I remember getting frustrated at my dad, and running out of the house, not running away, just away from him for the time, wanting to wait for mom to get home. Back then...it wasn't such a good thing, but... Now, its held in a sort of positive light. I have no way of explaining it, it's just plain weird.
I hold every single one of my memories as precious, and perhaps I cherish them a bit too much. Its natural for me, when times get rough, to seek refuge within the confines of my mind, where everything is under my control. I'll admit, its a nice feeling to be home, where I know my closest friends are just a stones throw away, and my Mom is here too.
I remember when I started this blog, almost two years ago now. That's insane, it feels so new still. I wasn't saved back then really, I was agnostic, didn't believe there was any way to know if God was real or just fairy tale legend. I sort of devoted all my writing here to finding facts, and looking into them from a different perspective. All in all, God showed himself to me, for scripture says (somewhere, I'll get back to you, I think maybe in the gospel of Matthew) that he who seeks shall find.
Anyways, I have warm memories here, I love this little place, for I can collect my thoughts, and sharpen them so to speak. I love to learn, and, just writing, is a great form of practice, and I need much more of it. When I first started this, I thought I wanted to be a writer, God may have plans for me yet, but, whatever it is, I'm not going to worry about it for a long time.
Life was so much easier two years ago, all I had to worry about was passing high school, and of course, Sarah. My parents marriage was still somewhat intact, but the pains of depression had been tormenting my father for the past three years or so.
Anyways, I'm really ready for the holidays, I can use a vacation, and some time to be with those who are close to me, parents, friends, family. Ah, yes, rehabilitation! Warmth, sitting around fire, presents, lights, Oh I cant wait to see what Christmas service is like this year at CCH! Maybe I can get my grandparents to come, that would rock!
Well that was fun, night guys.
PS, in case you were wondering about the title of this post, I am at home because I had my wisdom teeth pulled/cut out this Thursday, and I am recuperating.
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